Strategy #1: Online Dating

It's nearly two weeks into March Madness and I have been knee-deep in online dating. For anyone who has ever dabbled with OKCupid and the like, you might already be able to guess what my date count is so far. That's right: zero.

So here's the thing. Online dating is hard. In fact, it might be harder than in-person dating. Sure, I have the benefit of addressing a targeted audience of young, single men from the comfort of my living room. And yes, OKCupid gives me lots of helpful tools like "quivers," "winks," and "quick matches." But at the end of the day, it doesn't give me what I really need: A good pick up line.

Yes, even in online dating the pick up line matters.

You can agonize over your profile picture for months and tweak your self-summary until your laptop battery goes dead, but the key to nabbing a date with your dream guy  is in your opening line.


It has to be clever and smart. But not too long or pretentious. Referencing his profile is a nice touch. But then again, the likelihood that he remembers the details of what he wrote in it is low.

I've spent hours crafting two line messages, which makes for an even greater let down  when I log in the following day to see that my man of choice has looked at my profile and decided not to respond.

But wait...all is not lost! There's a note in my inbox from someone else.  I eagerly open up the message.He writes:

"hi cutie, how are you."